I am an introvert trying to make it in a corporate world designed for extroverts — this is my story
For years I tried to pretend that the world designed for extroverts worked for me too. It led me to the hospital. I did not have a sustainable and successful career until I spoke up and changed the way we worked as a company.
In case you did not know, January 2 is World Introvert Day. Funny as it may seem, we choose to celebrate introverts worldwide on this particular date because it is the first day after year-end festivities, a day to recover from the enormous level of social engagement that usually happens around Christmas and New Year’s.
I understand how some may be amused by — or even dismissive of — celebrating people who need a day off after the holidays to rest from the stimulation of being around others. But this is serious business, I must tell you. It raises awareness of introverts in a world designed as if all people were extroverts. Work for sure expects us to be extroverts or behave like such.
On the week of World Introvert Day, I would like to share 2 stories with you. The first one is about my journey (barely) surviving jobs and work cultures designed for extroverts — and making it more inclusive for me and for other introverts too. Here it is.
First things first: it’s a stimulation game
Contrary to popular belief, introverts are not necessarily shy, antisocial or afraid of speaking to large audiences. We may be all these things. But so may extroverts.
Simply put, introversion is about being more sensitive to external stimulation. Academic research published in the past decades found that it is a behavioral consequence of the way our brains work*. As a result, stimulation like noise, light, social interactions (oh! the torture of small-talk engineering!) and so on tends to drain our energy faster than it would for an extrovert. So the more stimulation we are exposed to, the faster we will feel tired and need some time to recharge.
The problem is that work has become a stimulation game. Ever since organizations discovered that collaboration leads to better results and innovation, their way to foster cultures that promote it somehow derailed towards countless meetings, brainstorming, open-plan offices (with the constant interruptions, chatting, fancy TVs hanging from the ceiling and neon signs with their messages of positivity) and a weird trend to diminish work done alone because “it is not what team players do”. An environment like this may be exciting for some but it sure is a productivity killer to us introverts.
If stimulation can’t be managed, introverts will either lose the game or pay too high a toll to stay in it. I did both.
I would love to say that the way to be a successful introvert in a setup designed for extroverts is adapting ourselves to its expectations and carrying on. But I can’t. If anything, forcing myself to “adapt” only led me to the hospital.
You see, for a few years I somehow managed to be a high-performing professional while trying to ignore the effects that excessive stimulation had on me. An outsider would see a woman on top of her game: passionate about her work, highly engaged with the organizations she worked for, consistently delivering results. But something fell odd.
It started with small peaks of anxiety, insomnia and constant exhaustion but eventually evolved to two burnouts. In another occasion, it was mental disorganization (I mean it when I say I could almost hear this weird white noise in my head all the time), migraines that would never pass, blood pressure through the roof (but only on workdays), and the threat of a heart attack that took me to the hospital on a Wednesday afternoon, after an the 7th meeting I had to attend on that day. I was not under any particular pressure nor drowning in workload when I felt like this. I just lived on the verge of exhaustion all the time, pretending that, like most around me, the way we worked energized me rather than drained me.
A way out requires that companies listen, care and promote change
The first time overstimulation hit me, I resigned. Back then I was partially unaware that the reason of my exhaustion and falling ill was the way we worked and completely aware that asking for help would have a negative impact on my leader’s perception of me.
The second time, having already learned about my introversion, I also found openness among my leaders and team to talk about how I felt and how to make my career and performance sustainable for me and for them. So I stayed.
My leaders back then got out of their way to make things work for me and actively listened as I tried to explain to these extroverts at the top of the corporate ladder how the same things that energized them were slowly (but literally) killing me. Together we adjusted the way I worked to create breaks in my work dynamic so that I could recharge. Working from home twice a week and having no-meetings days were a big deal in a company that operated 100% in-person and valued people interaction and teamwork — and these were just some of the adjustments we made. I am forever thankful to these leaders for their openness, empathy and sponsorship.
The team of a little over 20 people I led back then was also very understanding. In time, some of them even identified themselves as introverts too and felt empowered to speak up when they needed help or adjustments in the way we worked together. It was quite fun to see words as extroverts, introverts and ambiverts become part of our common lexicon and hear the team saying things like “maybe we should give people a minute or two to think about their answers before we start the discussion”. To those unacquainted of how introverts work, most of us prefer to think before we speak. So the idea of giving everyone a minute or two to think was very mindful of us. I am also incredibly grateful for this team.
Looking back at this experience, there are 3 lessons I would like to share with other introverts out there and with the companies that employ them:
- Although the general corporate culture may lead us into thinking that we have to change who we are in order to be successful, we introverts should not attempt to change our response to stimuli. We are who we are and our responses are physiological. We can, though, try to manage our energy as we work and, whenever possible, try to control the level of stimulation to which we are exposed. Which leads me to my second lesson:
- Companies should either create work dynamics that are mindful of the introversion-extroversion spectrum or promote a culture that encourages people to speak up and initiate change themselves. If organizations fail to do so, there is a good chance they may be impairing introverts’ performance or expelling talented introverts (in the current job market, can they afford to?).
- Speaking up requires courage, yes, but it is also a matter of privilege. Yes, the culture of the company I worked for was more open and caring than average. Still I was a senior professional with direct access to people who could promote change to accommodate my needs. I could also promote some level of change myself in the way I worked with others — like simply not attending a meeting I knew did not need me to happen. This is privilege and it should be used to create a better world for others too. I tried to use it to pave the way so that other introverts could speak up, promote change and feel welcome as they are too. I’ve been advocating for introverts and introversion everywhere I go ever since and I believe other introverts in positions of power should be encouraged to do the same — but the topic of what people is positions of power can do to care for the introverts in their teams is a topic for another article coming out next week.
In the mean time, join me in this conversation. If you are an introvert, I would absolutely love to learn about your experiences at work, specially what you or the organizations you are a part of have done to be inclusive of introverts’ needs. Introverts, unite! Separately. From our own homes. Of course.
*If, like me, you are not a neuroscientist and would like to learn more about it, I found Susan Cain’s “Quiet” rather enlightening.
